Safe Alliance enjoyed working with the City of Monroe on this event – and we are thrilled that we were able to create more public awareness about the work of our Tree House Children’s Advocacy Center.  The competition was great – the prizes were terrific – and we raised funds that will help families that have endured trauma and violence that turn to Safe Alliance for programs and services.

For the record, the winners were:  Tommy Freeman and Shane McCorkle.  They won $500 in US Airways ticket vouchers, Marathon gas cards, and Inner Peaks Climbing Center Passes for 4 people. 

Special thanks to our sponsors:  Monroe Paint and Decorating Center, Skyway Tire & Service Center, Stegall Petroleum, Inc., and US Airways.

In-Kind Sponsors:  Central Academy of Technology and Arts, Painting by Hands Helping Others and Technical Theatre Students, Winning Awards,  Inner Peaks Climbing Center, Extreme  Ice Center, Ripley’s Aquarium, Lazy 5 Ranch, Gander Mtn., Target, Applebee’s, Lowes, CiCi’s Pizza, and Express Car Wash.

 How do you follow up an act like the Avett Brothers?  

That is what I keep asking myself.  Although April 13, 2013 started as any other day, I knew it would not end that way.  It was a special time for Safe Alliance in Cabarrus County. 

On April 13 the Safe Alliance Cabarrus Team held its first benefit to raise funds to help those impacted by sexual assault and child abuse.  With over 400 people in attendance, The Avett Brothers performed for a sold out crowd at the Vintage Motor Club at Gibson Mill in Concord.   The evening included a “farm-to-fork” dinner featuring regionally grown foods, a silent auction (including Avett Brothers memorabilia) and an opportunity to enjoy almost 90-minutes of the Avett Brothers up close.  

The evening had two purposes – to raise money for the critical programs Safe Alliance provides to help those victimized by sexual assault and child abuse, and to bring awareness to this increasing need in our community.  Entitled “One in Four,” with presenting Sponsor Wells Fargo, this sold-out event recognized that one in four women are raped or sexually assaulted during their lifetime.

Prior to their performance, Seth and Scott Avett were interviewed by the media: “The reality of rape and sexual assault in our community – and across the nation – is profound and disturbing.  We are looking forward to performing at the One in Four event to closely connect with friends and neighbors in the community where we grew up.  More than that, we strongly believe in the rape crisis programs provided by Safe Alliance.  They are a necessity in Cabarrus County,” said Seth. 

We do not want our services to be a well-kept secret.  We exist to help those who need us and we want the word to get out regarding what we do, why we do it and who needs us.  By the end of the evening, over 400 people learned that one in four girls will be sexually assaulted prior to their 18^th birthday and that one in six boys would suffer the same fate as well.  The audience also learned about the various services Safe Alliance provides to help victims recover.

And by the end of the evening, the community heard from victims’ first-hand that hope is available to all and that through Safe Alliance advocacy and counseling services, a life once traumatized by the memory of sexual assault can be transformed into a life of healing.

In the month of May, 400 men at Bank of America Stadium took a public stand against domestic violence, promising to model appropriate behavior toward women while raising a great deal of money for our agency.  18 golfers at the Club at Longview participated in a golfing marathon – 100 holes of golf in a single day – to raise funds to support victims of assault and abuse throughout Mecklenburg, Cabarrus, south Iredell and Union Counties.  For the third year in a row, these golfers generated more than $120K for Safe Alliance. 

Also this month, our Champions for Children Breakfast at Firethorn Country Club enabled us to shine a spotlight on the critical services we provide in Union County to child victims of trauma.  And for the 16^th year, hundreds of area runners will participate in “Run For Peace,” a Charlotte-area tradition that raises funds to support our victim services programs. 

How does all of this activity contribute to providing hope and healing to those in crisis?  I think this message from one of our clients residing at the Clyde and Ethel Dickson Domestic Violence Shelter provides an answer: 

“Not only was it (Safe Alliance DV Shelter) a safe haven for us, the friendly atmosphere created by all staff allowed positive energy to flow through us (me and my 2 teenage kids) to touch the lives of other residents.  Because my kids felt so loved by staff – the people and their loving helpful, and accepting spirits, from the chefs to the front desk staff, case managers to counselors; everyone greeting us with a smile and encouragement, has inspired my kids to give back making connections with other residents and children.  I see them nurturing and encouraging younger children and passing on that care to the whole community. By supporting my kids and helping them blossom, even in the midst of this crisis, it allowed me to focus on me, unleash my burdens and worries because I’m no longer worried about them; I can worry about me.  This is allowing me to be optimistic about our future.  I felt hopeless, now I can see a brighter day.  I am so thankful, relieved and calm.  I have learned and grown so much from the groups because you have allowed me the space and time to be nurtured here.” 

It is messages of hope like this that make me enormously proud of our staff, volunteers and friends at Safe Alliance.  For all of you that support our mission, I offer my sincere gratitude. 

Gratefully,

Phil Kline

President & CEO

Safe Alliance

Men For Change is a group of individuals who come together as one to serve the victims of domestic violence in our community.  This group of business, faith and community leaders has worked to diligently raise public awareness about the realities of domestic abuse and violence against women with a goal of providing hope and healing for people in crisis.
 
Perhaps most important, these men take a stand against violence targeted at women, and they raise a great deal of money in the process to benefit Safe Alliance. While results are still being tabulated, this year’s event has already generated more than $60,000.00.   

This year’s featured speaker was Mark Wynn, who has served as an advisor to state, national and international leaders to help guide and shape domestic violence laws and policies. His credentials as a family violence expert are impressive and include serving as a special consultant to President Bill Clinton on domestic violence issues. 

Mark grew up in a violent home that shaped his career path. As a police officer, detective and educator with the Nashville Police Department, he worked to form the largest police domestic violence investigative unit in the United States.  He was the subject matter expert in the NBC Dateline segment titled “Cries for Help,” that covered the subject of children victims of family violence.  He was recognized by Parade Magazine as one of the Top Ten police officers in the United States.  He is a consultant to the National Stalking Resource Center of the National Center for Victims of Crime.  Mark is devoted to ending family violence.  

“The home I grew up in was covered with blood,” said Mark.  “Because of my abusive step-father, we lived like prisoners of war.  One day he pushed my mother out of a speeding car.  I got into police work because I wanted to lock him up – and people like him who abused women.” 

More about Mark Wynn and his crusade against domestic violence and sexual assaults later in this newsletter. 

Carolina Panthers President Danny Morrison and Safe Alliance President & CEO Phil Kline also spoke to Men For Change.  One of the most moving elements in the Men For Change program is when all 400 men in the room stand and recite a pledge to end domestic violence and to model appropriate behaviors for their sons. 

“Men For Change has raised nearly $1million for Safe Alliance since this group of volunteers organized in 1997,”said Tim Mahoney, Men For Change Committee Chair.  “We had an exceptionally powerful program and speaker this year. Mark Wynn really connected well with the audience.  His childhood and early law enforcement experiences were very unique.  His efforts to make a major difference with the Nashville Police Department – as well as his work on a national and international scale – are very compelling and powerful as he champions efforts to end domestic violence.  I am also energized by the way men at our breakfast are modeling the right behavior and not tolerating disrespectful attitudes toward women.   Our desire is to raise a great deal of money now that Safe Alliance has opened the new 80-bed Clyde and Ethel Dickson Domestic Violence Shelter for Women and Children.  With a larger shelter come higher operating costs and we want to make a difference.  We also know that the shelter has been full – at capacity – essentially since it opened.” 

Safe Alliance is proud of our Men For Change Sponsors:  Jones Lang LaSalle, CBRE, Childress Klein Properties, Office Environments, US Airways, Aetna, Hopeline, G & W Equipment, Hamilton Stephens Steele & Martin PLLC, Hatcher Law Group, Elliott Davis, Shumaker Loop & Kendrick, RS & H, Johnston Allison & Hord P.A., Duke Energy, Bank of America, Charlotte Business Journal, and The Carolina Panthers.

Q:   Mark, your biography and accomplishments in raising awareness about the realities of domestic violence and sexual assault are remarkable.  Can you tell us about your personal experience that motivates you to be so passionate about the cause?

A:   As I mentioned in my speech, my step father was a violent abuser, and the home I grew up in was covered with blood.  This impacted me greatly. It is hard for people to understand what it is like to be powerless – to not be able to be the person you want to be.  We were denied the right to live without fear – or to live a normal life.

We knew none of what was happening was right – but we were powerless.  As a result, I could not have lived this kind of life without working now to hold offenders like my step father accountable.  I was also compelled to speak out about it.  We must all have the ability to live free – and to be unafraid.

None of this is easy to change as a culture – where masculinity by some is seen as “force.”  That is not masculinity.  Rather, it’s about standing up for equality.  DV – I see it as racism with another coat of paint on it.  Living under the threat of death every day, I know what oppression feels like.  You want to get away from it – you want to feel free.

In order for me to live a meaningful life, I need to look out for the people that come “behind” me. 

Q:  As the featured speaker at our 16^th Men For Change Breakfast and Silent Auction, what role must men play in ending domestic violence?

A:  Men – we are the ones that commit this oppression.  It is our responsibility to make it right.  It will take generations for men to be “True Men.”  Sadly, our history has been not to believe women when they tell their stories about fear and violence.  When we don’t believe them, they don’t come forward.  We’ve got to make sure victims of these crimes believe us as men – that we do not push victims away.  If we do that, we are trapping their children – and they are going to repeat the violence they see.  Not all do – but some will.  This perpetuates the next generation of offenders.  Little boys, I believe, begin to imitate men in their lives at the age of 4 or 5. And what they see is what they model.  As men, we must model for young boys and we must model for each other. 

Q:  Men For Change is about 400 men in the Charlotte region taking a public stand against domestic violence and modeling respectful behavior and relationships for their sons to follow.  What kinds of things must men to do make that real – what are the behaviors to model?

A:  Men need to get involved with organizations like Men For Change.  Men must get involved with youth organizations; Boy Scouts, The Boys Club– and model what true men look like.  There is no room for power and control.  Our actions have to be more than just making one meeting a year and giving money.  We must remember to help one victim – one family at a time.  We need to give to each family that requires help what they need to get out – to safety and a life of hope.

Men also need to have courage to help.  That means courage to speak out when another man makes disparaging remarks about women and to say that it is not right.  We must stand up for equality for all – and no harassment in the workplace.  Finally, victims who have not yet called the hotlines for help need to hear success stories from places like Safe Alliance – and to know that there is help out there for them.

And for the third year in a row, proceeds from this golfing marathon will benefit the programs and services of Safe Alliance that provide hope and healing to victims of sexual assault, child abuse and domestic violence.      

In the past 2 years, the Club at Longview Golfers raised more than $250K for Safe Alliance – and this year’s golfing marathon was another successful outing.  At this time, the golfers have already generated more than $118K for Safe Alliance through pledges and a “silent and live” auction. 

Playing 100 holes of golf in a single day requires skill, endurance, strategy, discipline and a love of golf.  It is an amazing challenge.  But more than that, it is a shared experience and commitment to raise funds that will change the lives of women and children who suffer at the hands of batterers and abusers.

One golfer, Cliff Thomas, decided not only to play 100 holes – but to walk the course instead of using a golf cart.  That’s about 30 miles of golf!

“This is the 5th Annual Longview 100 and third consecutive year the group has supported Safe Alliance. Some people walk or run for charity; we chose to incorporate our hobby and love of golf to achieve this goal,” said Geoff White, golfer/member at the Club at Longview and co-chairman for this year’s Longview 100 Golf and Benefit events.

“Personally, I love this event and raising money for Safe Alliance as I firmly believe in their mission that ‘all individuals and families deserve to live in safe and supportive environments.’  Domestic and sexual violence and child abuse are community-wide issues and we need to help and support those directly impacted while increasing awareness of these issues across the greater Charlotte area.  The past three years the Longview 100 has seen the number of donors for this effort increase, which tells me we are increasing awareness while raising money to provide further support and services,” said Geoff. 

“I think it is amazing that anyone could actually play 100 holes of golf in a single day.  But these players thrive at the challenge.  At the same time, they are changing the lives of people impacted by violence and trauma,” said Safe Alliance President & CEO Phil Kline.  “We are so grateful to the Club at Longview as it supports our mission of providing hope and healing for people in crisis.”

The Longview 100 cause is serious – but the event is both a golfer’s dream and endurance test.

We play fast and furious for the first 36 holes, trying to complete it inside 4 and half hours,” said Nick Page, who initiated the Longview 100 ago with fellow Club at Longview member Brian Headrick.  “Then, we generally shift to a survival rhythm for the middle 36.  At that point, we just hang on straight to the finish line.  It’s all about great friendships, a love of golf – and survival.”

Safe Alliance is proud that three members of our board of directors played in the Longview 100 this year – John Tighe, Nick Page and Will Caulder.

According to the Substance Abuse & Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) and based on prior records, approximately one in five Americans will suffer from some form of a mental health issue this year. Only one-third of these individuals seek help. Why? The answer has to do with the stigma that persists about mental health.

May is National Mental Health Awareness Month, and we want to call attention to the fact that Safe Alliance is a place where hope and healing begin. Mental health issues  know no age limits, socioeconomic status, race, creed, or color. These challenges range from depression and anxiety disorders to post-traumatic stress and bipolar disorders. Despite the amazing progress that medical science has made during the past few decades in helping us better understand the workings of the brain and the causes of mental health issues, there is much that remains unknown. However, we do know that the brain, like all of our other vital organs, is vulnerable to stress and disease.

Unfortunately, our society is still plagued by the shame and stigma that is placed on mental health. Some of this is propagated through the media, especially when top stories highlight a history of mental illness in the backgrounds of people who commit horrific crimes of violence. It’s no wonder that many people do not seek treatment for difficulty in coping with life’s stressors.

In his recent proclamation, President Obama stated that, “as a nation, it is up to all of us to know the signs of mental health issues and lend a hand to those who are struggling. “ It is time to bring awareness to some of the more common myths about mental health. According to the National Alliance for Research on Schizophrenia and Depression (NARSAD), the largest non-profit organization responsible for raising funds for psychiatric research, dispelling these myths is a powerful step toward eradicating the stigma and alleviating the fear surrounding brain disorders.

The following are some of the most widespread myths about mental health, as well as the realities:

• MYTH: Psychiatric disorders are not true medical disorders.

REALITY: Mental health issues are legitimate brain diseases and usually have genetic and biological components.

• MYTH: If a person has a mental health issue, he/she can just “will it away” or “snap out of it.”

REALITY: Mental health is most effectively treated with a combination of counseling and/or medication.

• MYTH: Depression is a personality weakness or character flaw.

REALITY: Mental health challenges are not a reflection of one’s personality or inner strength.

• MYTH: Addiction is a lifestyle choice and shows a lack of willpower.

REALITY: Addiction is a serious mental health disorder which has been proven to be biochemically based.

There is hope for those who struggle with mental health. Asking for help is not a sign of weakness…it is a sign of strength and courage. At Safe Alliance, we offer confidential advocacy and counseling for individuals and families who are struggling with crisis as well as mental health, emotional issues and trauma. Our highly skilled clinicians work with young children via play therapy and also work with individuals, couples, and families. Our counselors specialize in child and adult trauma counseling, and we offer support groups for survivors of sexual assault and domestic violence.  At Safe Alliance, we recognize the importance of providing hope to all who come through our doors. Join us as we work to fight the stigma associated with mental and emotional suffering.

Men For Change is a group of individuals who come together as one to serve the victims of domestic violence in our community. This group of business, faith and community leaders has worked to diligently raise public awareness about the realities of domestic abuse and violence against women with a goal of providing hope and healing for people in crisis.

Perhaps most important, these men take a stand against violence targeted at women, and they raise a great deal of money in the process to benefit Safe Alliance. More than 400 men have registered to attend this year’s event.

This year’s featured speaker is Mark Wynn, who has served as an advisor to state, national and international leaders to help guide and shape domestic violence laws and policies. His credentials as a family violence expert are impressive and include serving as a special consultant to President Bill Clinton on domestic violence issues.

Mark grew up in a violent home that shaped his career path. As a police officer, detective and educator with the Nashville Police Department, he worked to form the largest police domestic violence investigative unit in the United States. He was the subject matter expert in the NBC Dateline segment titled “Cries for Help,” that covered the subject of children victims of family violence. He was recognized by Parade Magazine as one of the Top Ten police officers in the United States. He is a consultant to the National Stalking Resource Center of the National Center for Victims of Crime. Mark is devoted to ending family violence.

Complete details about Mark Wynn’s impact on domestic and sexual violence issues can be found at
http://www.markwynn.com/

Carolina Panthers President Danny Morrison will speak to Men For Change, as will Safe Alliance President & CEO Phil Kline.

“Men For Change has raised more than $900,000.00 for Safe Alliance since this group of volunteers organized in 1997,”said Tim Mahoney, Men For Change Committee Chair. “We have an exceptionally powerful program and speaker this year. Our desire is to raise a great deal of money now that Safe Alliance has opened the new 80-bed Clyde and Ethel Dickson Domestic Violence Shelter for Women and Children. With a larger shelter come higher operating costs and we want to make a difference. We also know that the shelter has been full – at capacity – essentially since it opened. Most of all, we want people to know that violence against women is never alright – it can and must be prevented.”

All media are invited to attend Men For Change as we hope to spread the word that hundreds of men in the Charlotte region are making it a priority to take a public stand against domestic violence.

Safe Alliance is proud of our Men For Change Sponsors: Jones Lang LaSalle, CBRE, Childress Klein Properties, Office Environments, US Airways, Aetna, Hopeline, G & W Equipment, Hamilton Stephens Steele & Martin PLLC, Hatcher Law Group, Elliott Davis, Shumaker Loop & Kendrick, RS & H, Johnston Allison & Hord P.A., Duke Energy, Bank of America, Charlotte Business Journal, and The Carolina Panthers.

For media interested in attending Men For Change, please contact Bill Coy at Bill.Coy@safealliance.org or 704 367 2707.

Safe Alliance supports victims of domestic and sexual violence, and child abuse and helps people build safe, healthy relationships. We do this through a continuum of shelter, counseling, legal and advocacy services serving over 20,000 people a year in Mecklenburg, Cabarrus, Union and south Iredell counties while reaching 20,000 more through advocacy and education.

-END-

On Monday May 6, 2013, more than 20 members of the Club at Longview will be playing 100 holes of golf each in a single day on a championship golf course beginning in the early morning hours (5:45 AM) and ending before dusk all in the name of charity. 

And for the third year in a row, proceeds from this golfing marathon will benefit Safe Alliance, which recently opened the new Clyde and Ethel Dickson Domestic Violence Shelter for Women and Children. 

In the past two years, Club at Longview golfers have raised $250K for Safe Alliance and are hoping for another  remarkable number this year.  

What:  100 holes of golf in a single day – serious golf.  One year the top golfer shot 13 over par, not bad when you consider that is 5 rounds of golf plus 10 extra holes.

When:  The first tee shot will be hit at approximately 5:45 – as close to first light as possible.

Where:   The Club at Longview.  8801 Longview Club Drive.  Weddington, NC 28173.

Our Mission: As golfers and athletes, we want to provide hope and healing to the victims of domestic violence and sexual assault. 

Our Goal:  To support Safe Alliance programs and services for victims of domestic violence, sexual assault and child abuse by raising funds through donations and pledges. 

Our Reality: Together, we will pursue our passion for golf, bond as neighbors and friends, and create a shared golfing memory that will last a lifetime. 

Longview Contact:  Geoff White, Club at Longview member/golfer is organizing the 2013 Longview 100. 

Safe Alliance/Media Contact:  Bill Coy at Bill.coy@safealliance.org  (704) 502 6525. 

This is an amazing, visual event for a very important cause – any consideration your news team gives to covering this event is greatly appreciated.
        

Davidson Public Safety teamed up with the Civic Engagement Council and the Upsilon Mu chapter of Delta Sigma Theta Sorority to orchestrate this event.  Here’s how it worked:  Warrants were served to local leaders who agreed to generate pledges either before they were arrested or while they served time in “Jail,” which was set up in the atrium of the Davidson College student union.  Campus and Davidson Police handled the arrests – complete with handcuffs.

Assistant Campus Police Chief Caroline McMackin believes this event serves a powerful purpose:  “We are making people aware about the realities of domestic violence.  It does not matter where you are from or your particular circumstance – it can happen to you.  People on campus, and everywhere, need to hear this message.”

Ed Kania, VP for Finance and Administration at Davidson College served as the “Lock Up” judge.

“We are creating and raising public awareness about how prevalent domestic violence is in the community and nationwide,” said Ed.  “We want people to know it’s important to help organizations like Safe Alliance in big and small ways.  A few dollars really can make a difference.”  

While in jail, local celebrities did not serve hard time. In fact, they received souvenir fingerprints and photographs; were served catered meals and massages as they made calls and sent texts to raise funds for the cause.

“We designed this fundraiser to be fun,” said Safe Alliance Lake Norman Region Director Lucille Marciano Metts.  “We are so proud of our association with the entire Davidson community, which is taking a public stand against domestic violence and helping Safe Alliance to provide programs and services to women and children that are transitioning from violent environments to safety.”

Elizabeth Christenbury of Davidson College believes it’s important, in particular, for students to be educated about domestic violence.  “We must all recognize that there are people suffering at the hands of violent abusers.  I hope we can keep our eyes and ears open for all people on campus – and where ever we go.  I am proud to be associated with this event as we work together to end domestic violence in our community.”