People often misunderstand domestic violence because of harmful myths, which can stop survivors from speaking up or getting help. By challenging these misconceptions, we can build a stronger, more supportive community where survivors feel seen, believed, and empowered. 

"It's important to share facts about Domestic Violence because we as a society often times have preconceived ideas about what going through Domestic Violence is like, the populations that it effects or what we would do in that situation. Often times in trainings I host, people are very surprised by the myths vs. facts section and what statistics actually look like. I think that these kinds of discussions are important because it allows people to compare these averages to their own bias's and get a glimpse of the struggles faced by a Domestic Violence survivor." Shares Alexandria Grimm, Safe Alliance's Hotline PRN and Volunteer Supervisor.

To break the silence, let's step into the lived realities of survivors and look at the truth behind some of the most common myths. 

Myth 1: Domestic Violence is rare 

"I never thought this could happen to me. I thought abuse was something you saw in the news, not in your own home." 

Fact: Domestic violence is more common than many realize. Statistics show that 1 in 4 women will experience domestic violence in their lifetime. And while women are disproportionately impacted, men and people of all genders can be victims, too. This is not a rare problem, it's a community issue that affects our friends, families, and neighbors. 

Myth 2: Domestic violence only impacts women or low-income families 

"From the outside, we looked perfect. We lived in a nice neighborhood, my partner had a great job, and no one would have guessed what was happening behind closed doors." 

Fact: Domestic violence does not discriminate. It affects people in every income level, race, religion, sexual orientation, and age. Domestic violence is about power and control, not circumstance. Survivors often remain silent because they believe no one will believe them due to the stereotypes we all carry. 

Myth 3: Domestic violence is a one-time, isolated incident 

"After the first time, he promised it would never happen again. But it did. And each time it got worse." 

Fact: Abuse is rarely an isolated act. Research shows that if domestic violence happens once, it is likely to happen again, and often escalates over time unless the abuser chooses to change their behavior. Survivors may live in cycles of tension, violence, and reconciliation that make it difficult and dangerous to leave. 

Myth 4: Domestic violence is only physical 

"He never hit me, so I didn't think it counted as abuse. But the way he controlled my money, isolated me from friends, and tracked my phone, it left me terrified and powerless." 

Fact: Domestic violence extends far beyond physical harm. Abuse can take many forms: emotional, psychological, verbal, sexual, spiritual, financial, and even technological. Each of these can leave deep scars and strip survivors of their independence. At its core, domestic violence is about coercive control, no matter the form it takes. Want to learn more about the different forms abuse can take? Check out our blog on the Power and Control Wheel 

Myth 5: Victims can easily leave an abusive relationship 

"People kept asking, 'Why don't you just leave?' But leaving was when things got the most dangerous. I was scared for my kids and didn't have anywhere to go." 

Fact: Leaving is often the most dangerous time for survivors. Abuse is about power and control, and when survivors attempt to leave, that control is threatened, often leading to increased retaliation and harm. On top of that, survivors may face barriers like fear, shame, financial dependence, custody battles, disability, cultural or religious pressures, and a lack of resources. The question should never be, "Why don't they just leave?" but instead, "How can we support them?" 

The myths surrounding domestic violence are powerful, but the voices of survivors and the facts tell a different story: one that shows how common abuse is, how complex it can be, and why compassion matters. 

Most importantly, survivors are not alone. There is hope, and there are people ready to listen, help, and provide resources. 

If you or someone you know is experiencing abuse, call the Greater Charlotte Hope Line at 980.771.4673. Our trained advocates are here 24/7 to provide support, safety planning, and connection to resources. 

Together, by dispelling myths and speaking the truth, we can create a community where survivors find safety, healing, and hope.